How can I be as obnoxious as possible at the Con?  I mean if I want to annoy and irritate as many people as possible, ruining their experience as much as possible, without actually getting thrown out (so I can maximize the amount of time I am able to annoy and irritate others).  What are some pointers on how best to do that?

I've got a short list:

1. DO NOT BATHE!
2. Beans, onions, eggs.  As food, and deoderant.
3. Practice my screechy laugh and do it as loudly as possible whenever it is not appropriate.
4. Find the slowest walking people in the halls at peak hours and walk alongside them, as slowly as they are walking, in an effort to block traffic as much as possible.
5. ALWAYS SPEAK IN ALL CAPS!!!
6. Try to pose for a picture with your arm around EVERY cosplay girl, and stare directly into their cleavage as the picture is taken.
7. Stinky leather sandals.  Take them off when you sit down to events for maximum fumigation.
8. Interrupt and argue with gamemasters -- JUST infrequently enough that you don't get kicked out.
9. Talk constantly about your home game and how much better it is than the game you are playing.
10. Talk constantly about your PC and how awesome he is, and how he could kick the ass of all the PCs in the current game because he beat up Orcus.

Any others?

Wear WAYYYYY too much cologne/perfume to mask the fact that you don't bathe so it causes asthma attacks or allergic reactions to those nearby!

While snarky, sarcastic me is applauding this post, trying-really-hard-to-be-a-kind-and-more-positive me is a bit disappointed.

Find the biggest backpack you can...fill it so it weighs anywhere between 80 and 100 lbs. Also find a large suitcase with wheels to drag around while the exhibit hall is the most crowded. Swing those suckers around without giving any thought to the people around you.

1. Eight foot wide costume in the dealer hall.
   
2. Wear the Princess Leia slavekini while sporting extensive back hair.
   
3. Stop normal people in the halls, compliment them for cosplaying normal people perfectly and ask for their picture.
   
4. Wander the halls with a 3-wood and challenge any cosplayer with a sword to a duel. 
   
5. Sandwich board reading "The End Is NEAR". Wear it and amble through the halls while ringing a bell and loudly proclaiming random, made up eschatological nonsense.
   
6. Dress as Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds, yell out his well known "NERRRRRRRDS" line and random passers-by.
   
7. Wear a shirt with a huge Future Farmers of America logo and ask random people if you showed up too early. 
   
8. Hand out flyers with coupons for Georgia Reese's, R.Bistro, Adobo Grill, and other now-closed restaurants.
   
9. Cosplay a roller-derby player and hip-check people in the hallways.
   
10. Herd all Star Wars Imperial cosplayers into Rebel/Jedi ones and goad them into fighting each other. 
    

(Yeah, I know the lead post was sarcasm about what people actually do to annoy others... but dammit, I think it's more funny to find tangents on themes like this. :D )

Talk shit about your opponents' board game moves to their face.

Wait in half hour food truck line, get to front of line, have no idea what you want to order.

Sitting at a crowded table playing a game while spreading your legs out widely. Aka gap hog!

Texting on your cell while not watching where you are walking. Aka cell phone jam!

Need to mind the gap and keep your legs parallel and straight ahead.

If you wish to text, then stand off to the side and let others pass.

ROLLER BAGS! 

They drive me crazy. 

Gather with your group of friends and chat in the narrowest part of the corridor. This seems to be a universal human trait. I've noticed it everywhere.

I like to stand near the trash cans in the middle of the aisle and talk with all 10 of my friends.  Nothing adds to the conversation like the smell of stale nachos and flat Monster.

I've warned him about the zero tolerance policy for some of his language (yes, words for folks of differing colors, lifestyles and genders...).

I've also promised his daughter that she can stay with me and catch a ride back to our hometown after her father gets banned from GenCon.

Working for Gen Con and rudely dismissing & turning your back on a con-goer who was just trying to introduce themselves and meet you.

Had this happen to me & my daughter a couple years back (by someone who frequents these forums).

Helpful tip:  All you had to say was, "Hi, nice to meet you, have a great Gen Con."  Try that next time.

Fine, I'll play along . . .

Get all your cosplay buddies together and stage an impromptu cosplay dance party right in front of one of the main entrances.  Make sure to play really crappy dubstep at such a volume on your equally crappy boombox.  

1. Dress as Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds, yell out his well known "NERRRRRRRDS" line and random passers-by.

I dunno.  I think this one is actually pretty funny ... /shrug.

1. Every game you play tell the other players that was a bad move and give them an alternate play that in your opinion would have been better.
2. Ask for rules clarification for super obscure scenarios that would never happen.
3. Hijack a rules explanation and totally take over
4. Sit down at a demo in progress and start talking about how you bought this game and how bad it sucks.

No-show an event you have tickets for. 

Get any friends that signed up with you to blow it off too. 

Rationalize the no-show by pretending the GM will easily find replacement players with generics.

Act offended when called out for doing this. 

Take pictures of cosplayers across an aisle. (I will not stop for these people anymore so you may get a side view of my irritated face instead of the cosplayer you intended).

Try to dictate the moves of other players and effectively play the game solo.

Run into the exhibit hall when the doors open and knock all competitors for your line out of the way.

Proceed to the front of a line and argue that you should be able to make your purchase regardless of the 50 people you line jumped. 

(But really, don't do these things....they're all just bad.....)